Archive for the ‘fucking toons’ Category

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Adventures in Rubber part85

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

growled back. She smiled, slid one leg over so that she straddled him,
smoothing the warm oil over his entire body, and massaging the muscles of
his arms, his chest. Her oil-slicked rubber-covered torso gleamed like
polished ebony, every movement she made rippling the clinging material.
He panted like a lion when she rubbed oiled hands over his cock and balls.

“You make me so hot,” she purred, moving down his legs.

Jason snorted. “I’m making YOU hot! Love, if you’re not careful, I’m
going to come just from looking at you! I’M the one getting hot!”

“Ah, but I’m not even started yet,” she replied, mischief in her eye.
She slithered off the bed. The latex sheets and Jason’s body were now
completely covered in oil. Flora walked out of his sight for a moment,
then returned carrying an odd collection of straps and two large dildos.
As she climbed onto the bed, he got a better look at it. It was a head
harness- he had enough experience now to recognize that much. The two
singularly realistic organs protruded from the front of the mouth-piece.

This wench is kinkier than I am, thought Jason. His mouth was suddenly
very dry.

Flora smiled at him as he licked his lips. “Perhaps I should give you
a taste before I put this on you,” she said.

She clambered around on top of him, facing his feet, and planted her
fragrant crotch on his face, her latex-covered calves gripping his head.
Jason licked and sucked eagerly as he felt her warm, greasy hands
fondling and stroking his now very hard erection. After only a few
moments though, she pulled away and turned around.

Despite the oil and Jason’s hairless head, she managed to get the head-
harness on him in short order. It didn’t hurt that he gave her
essentially no resistance. This was not shaping up to be an unpleasant
experience, and he was eager to see it to it’s conclusion. When she was
done, he found a soft bladder in his mouth, which filled his cheeks with
rubber when she pumped it up with a hand bulb. His vision was filled by
two prodigious prongs sprouting from his mouth and chin.

“There,” remarked Flora, “every girls dream- a man with two cocks who
doesn’t talk.”

She giggled again, climbing around the slippery bed until she had
positioned herself over his face, again facing his feet. She treated him
to an excellent view of her oily fingers probing her ass and vagina.
Jason was so turned on by this display that he thought he would orgasm
from sheer tension!

She looked over her shoulder. “Ready?” she asked, and without waiting
for a response, which would have been impossible anyway, carefully
lowered herself onto the dildos. As she guided each one into place, she
moaned and shivered a little, shaking drops of oil onto Jason’s face.
With a panty’s-eye-view, Jason watched in fascination as her front and
rear passages stretched wide to accommodate the thick rods. His view
became dim as she settled all the way down, and he had to struggle to get
any air into his nose, as it buried itself between her cheeks.

For a moment, she just sat there, rocking a little, then she leaned
slowly forward and planted her lips on his throbbing penis. Jason
shouted into his gag and Flora groaned as the vibrations shook the dildos
slightly. As she stroked him, she rocked back and forth, the artificial
phalluses thrusting in and out inches before Jason’s wildly staring eyes.
In moments, Flora began to grunt and hum loudly around Jason’s cock, and
as she accelerated her thrusts against his face, they came, within
seconds of each other, in one long, shattering climax.
Mandy wasn’t quite herself today. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t anyone in particular. In her present
condition, she would have been hard-pressed to remember her name, let
alone her actual identity. She was in a state between ecstasy and
insanity, balanced on the edge. As the sculpture holding her prisoner
tilted back and forth, her body reacted helplessly to the slithering
…End of the part85. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part84

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

in the room across the hall. He didn’t want to find out what she might
do to him in his present situation. Especially when wakened from a sound
sleep, he added to himself. And with her state of mind quite unknown, he
added again.

He listened to Flora bustling about the room, heard the door being
locked, heard the unmistakable rustle of rubber clothing. It makes
enough noise, he thought. Is it something large and loose-fitting, or
something tight that she has trouble putting on?

Shortly thereafter, his ankles were untied, but almost at the same
moment, a warm hand gripped his balls gently, and Flora’s voice said,
“Now be good lover, and do what I say- you’ll like this, I promise.”

He hadn’t much choice as she led him carefully to the bed, laying him
back upon cool sheets. COLD sheets! They warmed quickly to his skin,
and he realized that she had changed the flannel for latex sheets, the
cool material sticking just slightly to his still-damp skin.

He relaxed now, knowing that all Flora had in mind was more fun,
although he was a little disappointed that she hadn’t let him have the
upper hand. She was tying his ankles, then his wrists to the bed posts,
with something soft but strong and unyielding. When she was done, she
removed his hoodwink. He gasped.

“Do you like it?” she inquired, doing slow pirouettes for him around
the bedside.

“Like it?” he breathed, “it’s… extraordinary!”, and any objections he
might have had to being tied up evaporated in a haze of lust. She had
removed the skimpy maid’s outfit and donned an amazing body-shaper,
obviously made from very thick black rubber. As she turned before him,
he was treated to a full view of it’s effect on her. It was a corselet
essentially, yet it had short legs as well. The rear was cut out, the
tight fit causing her buttocks to protrude perkily. The waist was made
very tight, and acted as a mild corset, emphasizing the size of her hips
and chest. The chest had cut-outs too, around each breast, but the holes
must have been slightly small, as each tit stood out strangely taught
and firm, literally looking like small melons.

As he watched, fascinated, she picked up a large bottle and spread
a thick oil over herself and the latex as she walked slowly and sinuously
to the bedside. “I decided to try out the dominant side of life,” she
said smiling, “you don’t mind, do you?”

“Well, no, but…” stammered Jason, looking bemused at his bindings.

“Oh, and I used your ties for um, ties. I hope you don’t mind that
either.”

“Er, Flora,” said Jason looking wryly up at her, “I don’t think you’re
supposed to ask a slave if he minds or not- it doesn’t make you a very
convincing dominatrix.”

“That’s okay,” she replied brightly, “I don’t really want to be a
convincing dominatrix.” She had started pouring the oil on his belly,
spreading it around, and down onto his legs. It was very warm, almost
hot.

“You look terrif!” commented Jason, “That’s a hell of a… a…
whatever it is, it looks great!”

“It’s new. You’re the first person to see me in it. Not even Mandy
knows about it yet- I bought it myself.” The oil trickled down his
sides, ran under his back, began spreading around his ass. She climbed
onto the bed.

“I just love hot oil massages, don’t you?” she asked.

“If I could get my arms free, I’d show you how much I love it,” he
…End of the part84. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part80

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

is Mr. Dodds?”

“That’s the weird part! When I got out, he sat me in that chair, freed
my hands, and by the time I thought to take off my helmet, he was gone!
He likes doing that, though- he likes to make dramatic entrances and exits.
What bothers me though, is how he got past Charlemagne and Attila.”

“Who? Oh, Mandy’s dogs. Hmm. He wouldn’t have, um… he wouldn’t…”
he didn’t finish, because Flora’s eyes grew wide, and she dashed from the
room, barely managing to keep her footing on the slick tile. “Hey wait!
shouted Jason, “he could still be around…”
He struggled with the cuffs for a while, which Flora hadn’t managed to
remove, then sat down in resignation when he realized he couldn’t get
them off. He wasn’t about to go running through the house naked, no matter
how well he knew the owners. Besides, his feet were still more or less
oily, and he didn’t fancy negotiating all that tile without the use of his
arms for balance.

Flora returned in a few minutes, puffing, with a puzzled expression on
her face. “S’odd,” she said, “‘Tilla and Charley are outside, chasing
the birds as if nothing’s happened. Healthy as horses.” She began
fumbling with Jason’s cuffs again. Finally, she wiped her hands on
another towel, and gripping the leather through the towel, managed to
unbuckle the stiff straps.

“So how did he get in?” Jason asked, wiping silicone from his body with
an already saturated towel. “And how the hell am I going to get clean?”
he added to himself.

Flora looked thoughtful as she dug another towel out of the cupboard.
“I don’t know…maybe he drugged them. I know for certain he used drugs
on me… I still feel a little funny around the edges. Not bad funny,
just sort of fuzzy… you know?”

“Yah. Hey, what about Mandy?” Both their eyes grew wide, and they
managed to jammed themselves in the doorway like two Keystone Kops, in
their haste to get into the adjoining room. What they found was not
exactly comforting. The tilt-table sat unmoving, the respirator
equipment, silent. A strange-looking hollow mold of Mandy’s body lay
upside down on the floor next to the table, the table itself being bare,
with an outline where the mold had been cut free. Jason walked over and
examined it. The suit Mandy had been made to wear was still inside,
molded into the rubber. The tape sealing the back zipper had been cut,
and the suit simply zipped open, since her back hadn’t been covered with
the rubber.
There was no sign of Mandy in the room.

Jason looked worried. “Oh…”

“…shit,” finished Flora. She looked even more worried than Jason.
The two of them went up the stairs, two at a time, and started searching
the first floor. It rapidly became apparent she was not there.

“Mandy?” called Flora, “MANDY!” she was beginning to sound frantic.

“Hey, hey, easy,” soothed Jason, maybe she’s asleep upstairs.” He
sounded more calm than he felt, or at least hoped he did. “Let’s finish
looking around before we go panicking, okay?”

Ignoring the elevator in favor of the sweeping staircase for speed,
they took to the second floor. In the hallway, they found a note, pinned
to Mandy’s door by a deer-footed dagger.

“Jesus!” said Jason, wide-eyed. Flora yanked the note free as they
swept in to Mandy’s room.

Mandy was in her bed, apparently asleep. They stood transfixed for a
moment, until they saw that she was breathing. Jason looked at Flora
with relief. She was staring at the note. An amused look of wonderment
was stealing across her face. At Jason’s puzzled expression, she held
…End of the part80. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part55

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

torso of the suit. Each of the outside straps he stretched tight to
the canopy frame, while each of the inner-facing ones he pulled taught
to it’s mate on the opposing limb. The last touch was to remove the
pulley-ropes, so that the heavy suit and straps alone supported her
weight. When he was done, Mandy was suspended between a web-work of
straps, the rubber suit stretched out a little at each attachment
point.

When finished, Mr. Dodds stepped back to admire her. She was still
wearing the the thin latex catsuit underneath of course, but with the
addition of the shiny red bondage suit laced tightly over it. The
straps pulled this out from her body at dozens of places, and this,
combined with the tightly stretched mittens and feet spreading her in
mid air, made her body appear stretched as well into a strange, yet
erotic caricature of the female form, the stretched points giving the
red rubber the appearance of thorns.

She was taking deep breaths now, her breasts heaving, in order to get
enough air in the confines of the suit, and Dodds watched her for
several minutes.

After a short while he nodded to himself, hefted half of the cast under
each arm, and whistled his way downstairs.
Moving between Jason and Flora, the stranger turned off the treadmill
and vibrating massager. As they looked up in surprise, he smiled.

“Hello,” he said, and then frowned as Flora shook her head wearily.
Though her worst fears had come true; a stranger was in their house
while she was helplessly trapped in Mandy’s devilish equipment, she was
too exhausted from her ordeal to do anything but relax within her
bondage, taking advantage of the relief from the insidious treadmill.

Of course, her relaxing was visible only as a bend at the knees, since
her harness held her up, the rigid corset stiffened her back, and her
hands were still held fast to her hips by the thick rubber gloves that
were glued there.

The stranger frowned at her lack of response, then noticed the box at
her belt, from which lead connected to her helmet. He flipped the
switch on the box, and watched her face. When nothing happened, he
began again.

“My dear people, I am Mr. Dodds. You have nothing to fear. I am an
old friend of Ms. Rafool’s, and I’m perfectly aware of her unusual
hobbies. I’ll be releasing you shortly, but I’m afraid I’m not here to
rescue you.

You see, I am your new master, at least for a while.” He let those
words sink in for a moment.

Flora was stunned by this strangers appearance from nowhere, and even
more surprised by his cool assumption of authority over them. She
thought furiously, wondering how he had gotten onto the property, or
for that matter, how he had gotten past Mandy’s two protection-trained
Rottweillers. She had no intention of surrendering to this intruder
without Mandy’s reassurance. For all she knew, this guy could be an
axe-murderer. She also realized that their visitor was a large and
powerfully built man, so for the moment, she offered no resistance as
he proceeded to undress her.

She squirmed a bit in embarrassment as he removed the dildos from her
in plain view of Jason. Did he have to do this here, right in front of
Jason, she thought. As she stood shivering, wet with lubricant and
sweat, she wondered if perhaps this strange man could be legitimate.
She remembered now that Mandy had mentioned one or two men in her life
once, but it had been a long time ago, and she couldn’t remember the
details. She was certain that Mandy hadn’t had any men here since
Flora had moved in, although she knew that Mandy was bisexual.

She remembered that that Mandy had taken several business trips last
…End of the part55. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part52

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

again, and she felt a slight warmth grow in her crotch.

“You bastard,” she exclaimed softly, “you’ve no right to come barging
in here, knocking people out and covering us up in… in… what the
hell have you got me in, anyway?”

She looked down. For the first time she saw the plaster cast, molded
closely to her body, mummifying her. She was impressed, but tried not
to show it. “Well, anyway, I was just getting reacquainted with an old
boyfriend, and now you show up! I…”

“Now, now,” interrupted Dodds, “don’t get yourself in a snit. We’re
all going to have a wonderful time, and you can have him all to
yourself when I leave. By the way, how long was he planning on
staying?”

“Won’t say,” she answered, pouting as a child might. There might have
been a hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth.

“Now don’t be petulant, my dear,” countered Dodds, smiling an almost
fatherly smile back at her, “you know how unpleasant I can get when
people try to defy me.” He stared fixedly into her eyes.

For a few moments, she stared defiantly back, then she broke into a
grin and shook her head.

“Very well,” said Dodds, “if you won’t talk, you don’t need your head
free.” He rummaged through her closet. “Hmmph. Cleaned house again,
eh? Well, I ought to find something suitable downstairs.”

He walked out the door, and returned minutes later with a heavy wad of
black rubber in his hand.

“My my,” breathed Dodds, “This is new, Flora must have been a very bad
girl.” He held up the hood for Mandy to see. She gulped: it was only
too familiar to her, since it had been custom made to her own design.

It was made of very thick rubber, the front molded into a feminine
face. It was equipped with an inflatable penis-gag with a tube through
it for breathing. A short, thick hose leading to a small rubber bag
was attached to a fitting at the mouth. Heavy laces closed the rear,
and a panel with a locking zipper secured them from prying fingers.

She clamped her mouth shut, refusing to ask for mercy.

Mr. Dodds opened the hood wide, and forced the dildo gag between her
lips. He smiled. “Oh come now Mandy, you’re not resisting much.
You’ll never get sympathy that way- you’re enjoying yourself to much”

After opening the breathing valve wide, he pulled the heavy hood over
her head, and laced it up tight. Mandy moaned something. Dodds
listened to her breathing for a moment, then fitted a puffer bulb to
the valve between the molded-in lips of the mask.

A few pumps visibly swelled the mask at the cheeks, and brought a few
satisfactory moans from inside the immobile, shiny black head.

When the pump was removed, he stood grinning down at her for a moment
before returning to his work. He had brought in several plastic tarps
and an evil-looking motorized surgical saw.

After laying things out, he searched through her closet for various
rubber and leather articles for several minutes, occasionally chuckling
or muttering to himself as he discovered items of interest.
Reappearing from under mounds of leather and latex, he hauled out his
booty and piled them on the foot stool at the foot of the bed.

Again Dodds stopped to listen to her breathing. It was long and
breathless sounding now. He knew that the rubber bag at her mouth was
forcing her to re-breathe some of her exhalation, concentrating the
…End of the part52. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part51

Friday, May 29th, 2009

heavy pot, and setting this aside, he again checked her vital signs.
Apparently satisfied, he opened the pot and removed a roll of wet
plaster bandage. He carefully applied it to her unconscious body,
forming a plaster cast. Roll after roll, the cast moved up from her
feet toward her head, covering her in a smooth, warm, and thick layer,
surrounding even the individual fingers, which he splayed wide upon the
board. When she was encased up to her neck in a rapidly hardening
total body cast, he cleaned up his mess and carried it down the hall,
to a guest room. When he returned, he pulled from one of his cases a
heavy leather helmet equipped with a large, stuffed leather gag, and
put it on her head.

When it was tightly laced, and he was certain she was breathing easily,
he locked the door, pocketed the key, and went downstairs.

When Mandy awoke, she lay still a moment, wondering what had happened
to her. I remember that salesman, she thought, and then… nothing.
His face had seemed strangely familiar…

About this time, she realized that she couldn’t move. In fact, she was
held so rigidly immobile, that for a moment, she couldn’t imagine how
it had been done. Oh, NO! she thought. It’s Dodds, it must be! I
should have known I was overdue for one of his visits, why didn’t I
recognize him? And just when I was really starting to have fun with
Jason.

…what in the world has he got me in, a block of cement?

Although she would have vehemently denied it to almost anyone else,
Mandy was not one hundred percent dominant. When she had lived with
Mr. Dodds, she had spent many happy, sweaty hours in bondage. With
women, she tended to be dominant. With a very few men, she felt
submissive.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been going easy on Jason, she thought.
Damnation! What HAS he got me in- a body cast? She tried to wriggle a
bit, just to test the limits of her bondage, but found it quite
impossible. Every inch of her body was enveloped in something hard and
inflexible, except her head. She realized from the strong smell of
leather that her head was laced into one of his hand-tooled bondage
helmets.

It fit her head as if it had been made from her measurements, (it had)
and the high, curved collar allowed very little movement. She tasted
the leather gag filling her mouth, and felt her nipples grow stiff.
She grinned to herself within the helmet. Damn! she thought, betrayed
by my own body.

After what seemed a very long time, Mandy jerked awake, not realizing
she had fallen asleep again. Someone was making noise in the room. A
soft voice she now recognized as Mr. Dodds’ said, “Well, my dear, how
do you like my handy-work? Yes, yes, I know, I’ll remove the gag in a
moment. Let me just get my things ready.”

A minute later, she felt him undo the lacing at the back, and shortly
she was blinking at the bright overhead light. It took her a few
moments to work the stiffness out of her mouth and jaw.

“I see you let me stay in my own room, at least,” she offered.

“Yes, well, don’t worry,” Dodds replied, “you folks won’t be staying up
here long. I have great plans for you all.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Why, Mandy! You sound petulant, almost as if you aren’t glad to see
me. And after we had such fun together on my last visit. Don’t you
remember?”

Mandy certainly did remember, and remembering, her nipples grew hard
…End of the part51. To be continued..

Adventures in Rubber part36

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

stomach complained, but there was nothing she could do. When it was done, she
could only breathe in short, shallow pants, and she was grateful indeed when
the feeding tube was removed from her mouth-hole. She hoped Mandy would let
her out of this infernal get-up soon.

Uh-oh, she thought. I think I have to go the bathroom.
Jason didn’t struggle as Mandy led him from the dining room. He was hardly
in a position to struggle, encased as he was in the tightly-strapped leather
bondage bag. Mandy had closed the zip over his eyes, so that he was once
again blind.

They stopped walking, and he felt a lurch under his feet as the lift started
downward. Well, he thought, trying to put a damper on his panicky feelings,
at least I’m getting to see the rest of the house.

His stomach complained from the overfeeding it had received moments before,
and Jason reflected on what he had learned about Mandy. When he had first
met her, they had been in high school. Her parents had apparently been
into this sort of thing (he found out later), and a little of their kinky
habits had rubbed off on their daughter. She had quite a wardrobe of shiny,
rubber and plastic garments, with a few leather items thrown in for good
measure. All of them fit very tight, and had showed off her cheerleader’s
figure to great effect. He had fallen hard for her.

But now it seemed, she had stepped across the boundaries of just “dressing
for pleasure”, and was into body-modifications, bondage, and who knew what
else. He began to worry what she be capable of. So far, her bondage and
other bizarre games seemed to be sexually-oriented, but Flora had said that
Mandy didn’t really like men. Suppose she was playing with him? Suppose
she actually intended to use him for her little games with Flora, then
discard him like a used tissue? Visions of twisted, naked bodies and midnight
visits to the surrounding woods threatened him for a moment, before a cool
and strange sensation enveloped his still-exposed cock.

It was Mandy’s rubber-gloved hand, he realized. The lift lurched slightly
again as they reached the basement. He was lead around a corner, then again
brought to a stop. Mandy’s ( he presumed ) hands guided him to a kind of bed
or cot, which he was made to lie down upon. It was very soft, and he sank
down into it, as if on an under-filled water bed. Next he felt hands at his
neck followed by zipping sounds, followed by a breath of fresh air hitting his
chest. She loosened the crotch straps and back straps that held the body
binder on, and in moments, he was free. Unfortunately, he still could see
nothing. Apparently, the hood had been unzipped from the binder, for his
head was still encased in snug leather.

For a moment, he was free to move about on the soft springy mattress, and his
hands explored the surface. It was very smooth, bounded by a hard frame at
the edges, and he assumed it was more rubber. Damn, he thought, this woman
is more latex-crazy than I am!

He made to sit up, but hands immediately pushed him back down, then another
soft, smooth surface came down on top of him, pressing him flat. He could
move his arms and legs around a bit, but soon found his freedom limited by
a hard frame, that the top sheet seemed to be clamped under, or perhaps,
attached to. He could not sit up either. It felt as if the frame curved
closely around his neck- he was trapped.

After a few seconds, Mandy appeared upside down in his vision, as she removed
the leather hood. She was grimacing at him. No, she was smiling at him, but
she was upside down to him.

“What are you doing?” he asked. “You’re not going to… going to…” he
faltered, unable to express his worse fears.

“Torture you?” Mandy asked sweetly. “Certainly I’m going to torture you,
‘though maybe not in the way you expect.” She bustled about the room, and
Jason twisted his head this way and that to follow her motions.

“Actually,” she continued, as she rummaged in a drawer, “I’m hoping you’ll
enjoy what I have planned for you. I’m not cruel, you know- just vindictive.
…End of the part36. To be continued..

The Airport Saga

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

I went to the airport to pick up a friend from his trip. I got to the
electronic boothy thing that xrays purses and carry-ons and that checks
your bod for metal. Anyway, I walked thru just fine, but they took a long
time checkin’ out the images in my purse. Instead of giving me my purse
back when they were done, they handed it to a security guard.

“Do you have a problem?” I asked.

“Talk to him about it, Ma’am” and he handed my purse to the
mega-guard.

He then proceeds to take everything out of my purse. Even the
lint. Whatta jerk. He gets to my key ring and asks,

“What’s this, Ma’am?”

“They’re keys.”

“No, I mean these.” And he points to the little cuffs I have
hooked on my keyring.

“It’s a key chain. A novelty item.”

“Hey, Bill, look at these thumbcuffs!” and mega-guard calls over
his croney. “These are thumbcuffs, right Bill?”

“Yep. They are,” said Bill the dimwit.

“No, they’re NOT!” I insist. “They are a toy! A gimmick! I’ve
been in and out of this airport THREE TIMES in the last month, and I’ve
NEVER been stopped like this before!” I’m angry now. I’m talking thru
clenched teeth.

“Sorry, Ma’am, but you can’t go into the airport with these.”

(if he calls me “ma’am” one more time, he’ll never father children)

Ok, so I collect myself. I’ll see if I can reason with this guy.
Afterall, he’s trying to do his job.

“Look, these are not weapons. I have a swiss army knife that you
allowed, but these trinkets are considered more threatening? C’mon, you
know better than that.”

“Sorry, Ma’am…

(grrrrrr!!!)

… but, you can’t take these in. You have to leave them outside
the gates.”

I’m tired of arguing with this guy. He’s not gonna give up or give
in.

I tell him, “Fine, you hold on to these. I’ll be back in 15
minutes.” And I start stuffing everything else back into my bag.

“No, Ma’am, we can’t do that. You have to give them to someone
else to hold on to.”

“I WHAT??!!?” My tone is markedly louder.

“You have to give them to someone else to hold on to. We can’t
keep them here.”

“This is INSANE! I don’t know anyone in this damn airport! What
the hell do you suggest!??”

“Give them to a vendor to hold on to.”

“FINE! If that’s what will get you to let me into this airport,
I’ll do JUST THAT! And give me your full name NOW!” He hands everything
back to me, gives me his name, and escorts me from the area. I storm away
and find the first open vendor. It’s already after 9pm on a Sunday night,
and most have closed shop. I give my sob story to the fresh fruit and
nuts guy and he gladly holds on to the “weapons.” Sheesh!

So, I return and smuggly toss my purse on the xray conveyor belt.
I charge thru the detectors again. And they look VERY CLOSELY at the image
of my purse. They reluctently hand me my purse.

“THANK YOU!” I hiss and go off to the gate.

My friend’s flight came in fine, but we have to go back out past my
“buddies” to get to the baggage claim area. I leer at them venomously when
I see them. I rush over to claim my ‘contraband’ and the guy at the counter
recognizes me immediately. He gets ‘em out of his pocket and places them
in my hand. But then, he holds them in my hand for a longer-than-he-
should-have moment. He stares at me, still holding my hand, and whispers,
“Oh, my name is Kenneth. What’s your name.”

I pause… smile… and tell him, “You can call me Ma’am.”

I grab the cuffs, remove his hand from mine, and make it back just
in time to help my friend with his luggage.

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